Will It Float?

When I stay up late, I like to watch David Letterman play "Will It Float?"

The first time I caught the sketch, the item in question was a jug of milk. Will a jug of milk float in a great big tub o' water?

While the object of the day changes, the basic format stays the same: lots of debate, followed by the official guesses, then, with much pomp, drama and some strange fireworks on the side, the item in question is placed into the big ol' tub o' water.

I don't remember if a gallon of milk floats.

But how thrilling the question...

This week I made an interesting discovery. David Letterman did not invent "Will it Float?"

Nay, it came from Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers changed into his sweater and tennis shoes many years ago, invited his young viewers to join him at his turquoise blue bathtub, took a bucket of bath toys and looked into the camera...and asked the immortal question. "Will it float?"

Plastic blocks and boat floated. The toy rocking chair sat on the bottom of the pretty blue tub.

But even Mr. Rogers, back in the 1970's, was not the original "Will it Float?" guru.

Thousands of years ago, the oldest man ever to grace the planet...the one and only, original, "will it float" guy.

Methuselah was 187 years old when he became the father of Lamech. When Lamech was 182, he had a son named Noah. When Noah was six hundred years old, he ducked into an ark full of stinky animals to escape flood waters covering the face of the earth.

187 + 182 + 600 = 969

Genesis 5 tells us that Methuselah died at age 969, which by my math...drumroll, please...was the year of the big flood.

Methuselah did not float.

I've never found a commentary or a biblical footnote about the death of Methuselah, but the math is right there in the text for anyone to see.

Was Noah's great grandpa evil like everyone else? Did God smite him off the face of the earth?

Was he basically a good fellow, and God rewarded him by saving him from all those months trapped with family members and animal poop in a confined space?

Why hide this little detail in the story?

One of the things I truly love about the Bible...there are always layers upon layers of weird details...layers upon layers of opportunity for discussion, for interpretation, for debate....

Layers upon layers of hack theology just waiting to happen.